How to Not Be an Ant: Listening Lesson- Part 1

Okay, so as you know, I've been attempting to put into practice these "Listening as a Spiritual Practice" exercises- and the other day, I find myself at the Dollar store...

I had my cart loaded with items and was leaving the store when I realized that the cart had one of those poles on it that prevents you from taking it out of the store. I was stopped dead in my tracks at the door. I quickly began grabbing as many bags as I could carry to my car and as I looked behind me was horrified to see that I was inadvertently blocking someone else's exit from the store. I made a point to look directly into her eyes and smile as I apologized for my blocking her progress.

I think that the fact that I addressed her personally and intentionally, rather than just robotically saying a quick "Oops, I'm sorry" as I looked at the floor, made a huge difference in her response.

She said, "Where's your car?" and then began picking up the remainder of my shopping bags.

When we got to the car, I thanked her profusely and asked her her name; then, addressing her by name, I again thanked her profusely telling her that I wished I could repay her kindness.

"Just keep me in your prayers," she said as she turned to walk to her car.

"Cheryl, anything in specific you want me to pray for?" I called out to her as she was walking away.

She stopped dead in her tracks, turned back around and began walking back across the parking lot to me.

And so, in the parking lot outside of the Dollar Tree, this perfect stranger shared her concern for the salvation of her sons with me... And right there in the bright sunlight of a beautiful August morning on Main street in Newark, DE- I gave her a promise from scripture (Isaiah 54:13- all your children will be raised in peace) and we agreed in prayer, thanking God for his promise to raise her children according to that scripture.

We then gave each other a "high five," and got into our cars and drove away- both of us forever changed...

Wow. I'm sold. What a difference this makes!

I will continue to update you on my further progress...

Peace!

The Spirituality of Listening

I've been listening to a lot of voices who seem to be talking about the same subject: Listening.

Recently, I watched this excerpt from the movie Waking Life on YouTube:

"Zombie Auto-pilot"...Wow, what a frightening thought! If we're on auto-pilot, then there is no intentionality in our day-to-day life- and certianly no life in our life. Living that way, I'm sure is not living the abundant life to which Christ has call us.

It's got me wondering how often I am actually present in a conversation, waiting for the next words to be spoken...because, very often, the opposite is taking place- I am waiting for that person to finish speaking, so that I can convey my oh-so-important point.

That's not listening. That's not participating in conversation. It does violence to the other. It devalues their personhood. It lacks sensitivity and, most importantly, it is not Christlike.

I don't do it all the time- but I do it enough. So, I decided that I need to stop doing it altogether.

In conjunction with this, I am revisiting Henri Nouwen's A Spirituality of Waiting, and am realizing that to concept of listening and waiting are intricately connected. Nouwen describes a waiting that is active, not passive. He describes a waiting that leaves open space for the growth and nurture of "something." Finally, he discusses the importance of recognising the importance of and need for not only an active waiting, but a waiting period in which one is acted upon.

As I go about my day performing the mundane tasks that are required for continued existence, I am beginning to re-train myself to be present in the moment, present to the moment, and alive and waiting actively with expectation (pregnant hope, if your will) for something wonderful to burst forth. In doing so, every interaction with another becomes an opportunity to experience a divine appointment, and to be acted upon by God through the lives of others.

And so, I am on a journey to stop living like an ant...

In order to do this, I am going to actively strengthen my ability to practice the Spirituality of Waiting and the Spirituality of Listening.

Here are some tips I'm going to try in doing this that I got from reading a blog entitled Blog One Another:

Exercises to Develop the Spirituality of Listening:

•Observe yourself during conversations. When the other person is talking, are you listening, or are you thinking about what you will say next?
•Break out of "ant auto-pilot". The next time you are buying something and the cashier says, "How are you today," can you turn the programmed ritual into a conversation? Ask for their opinion about something, even something random. When they say, "Thank you and have a good day," don't reply, "Thanks, you too," as you look at your receipt. Instead, look them in the eyes, thank them by name, and give them a blessing.
•The next time you have a disagreement, ask yourself, "What if they are right?" Even with something you think is flat-out wrong, say a quick prayer: "Master, show me the grain of truth in what they are saying."
•When somebody agrees with you, remind yourself that they see the world through their own experiences, for their own purposes. Does that deflate your pride somewhat?
•Practice listening to strangers, acquaintances, colleagues, friends, and family. Try it at home, at work, at school, on the street. Where is it easier or harder? With whom is it easier or harder?
•Invite yourself to someones home for a meal. Invite others to your home. Listen, and let these moments change you.

I'll keep you posted on my progress...

The Unforced Rhythms of Grace

In John 1:16, the writer describes the richness of the newly come Kingdom of God when he states: “We live off his generous bounty, gift after gift, after gift.” (The Message) Another version, The Living Bible says it this way: “We have all benefited from the rich blessings he brought to us- blessing upon blessing heaped upon us!” Still other versions put it this way: “For of His fullness we have all received, and grace upon grace.” (New American Standard Bible); “Out of his fullness we have all received grace in place of grace already given.” (Today's New International Version); and “…and out of his fullness did we all receive, and grace over-against grace;” (Young's Literal Translation). Combined, we can envision grace coming to us in waves: grace upon grace upon grace, grace being replaced by grace already given.

Finally, in the NIV we read this description of the way in which God desires to bestow provision, both physical and spiritual, on us in the new regime initiated by his son, the Christ: “16From the fullness of his grace we have all received one blessing after another. 17For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.

Briefly, these are my “takeaways” from this:

1) Grace comes in ebbs and flows. We are given blessings and then sometimes they are seemingly taken away, only to be replaced by newer, greater- albeit similar in nature- blessings later on in time. It is a rhythm that cannot be forced.

2) This grace/abundance/blessing comes from Jesus who is full of both grace and truth. It cannot be achieved through purely human effort.

3) The mention of grace and truth together is not accidental- there is a connection. In order to be able to experience fully these waves of grace that are offered to us, and in order to be buoyed through the lulls of grace, we must anchor ourselves to Truth. Not truth with a lowercase “t”-which is the truth of the world as we see it…we must be solidly connected and receiving Truth with a capital “T,” and that kind of truth is not a proposition or a proposal or a set of facts or descriptions about the world- it is a person, the Person of Jesus Christ.

In his paraphrase of Matthew 11:28-30, Eugene Peterson describes “the unforced rhythms of grace.” Here’s this beautiful phrase in context:

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion?

Come to me.
Get away with me and you’ll recover your life.

I’ll show you how to take a real rest.
Walk with me and work with me- watch how I do it.
Learn the unforced rhythms of grace.
I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you.
Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly”

Matthew 11:28-30 (The Message)

Did you ever get caught in a rip-current? I have. One minute you’re happily enjoying swimming in the beautiful vast sea, with the shore safely before you…the next minute you realize that you are not in control, and you can't seem to get to the shoreline. No matter how hard you fight, no matter how strongly you swim, the shoreline’s safely evades you. You begin to become tired, exhausted, and all the effort you are putting forth is doing only one thing-draining you of your ability to keep your head above the waterline. I have been there: one nostril above the waterline. It is scary.

Do you know the best way to get into shore when you are being pulled out to sea by an undercurrent? It’s to let go, stop swimming, and float. You let go, always keeping your eyes on the beach, and you let the current push you back in.

And so it is with life. Sometimes we try to force grace. We recognize a promise that God has whispered into our lives, and when that promise doesn’t come into immediate fruition, we panic. We begin a swim toward shore which is nothing more than a lot of thrashing and flailing and we think this will get us into the safely of the sand. But it seems the more we do this, the more exhausted we get, and our efforts begin to feel, surprisingly, counterproductive. That’s because they are. All the effort in the world will not bring about God’s promise of blessing and grace one second earlier than his appointed time.

My mother used to say to me: “God is never late. Always on time- and rarely shows up early.” She was trying to tell me to be patient; to wait upon the Lord; and to not try to force grace’s rhythms. When we attempt to manipulate the rhythms of grace, we end up wrinkling the fabric of time and history. That may sound very esoteric and mystical, but I say this unapologetically. Because Grace is mystical…

Let’s look at some examples of what happens when grace’s rhythm is forced:

~Abraham and Sarah were promised the blessing of becoming a great nation, yet rather than believing in God’s supernatural provision- they worked within their own ‘logic’ and created a ‘solution’ by getting Hagar pregnant. Their ‘solution’ became a big problem.

~Moses was told by God that he would have the blessing of being the one to free the Hebrews from their slavery, yet rather than waiting on God’s perfect timing, Moses lost his temper when seeing a slave being mistreated. He freed one slave by killing an abusive Egyptian, but the Hebrew people languished in Egypt while Moses spent many years in exile in the desert.

~The Hebrew people knew they were promised the blessing of being a great nation, but rather than believing that their God works outside the scope of the ordinary, they disobeyed God and insisted that they needed a king to become powerful. This mistake cost them much.

Granted to us by the efforts of The Truth, grace is a gift that is simply unachievable through human effort. When we try to do so, we are literally setting ourselves up as gods. Not good. Not a gracious way to live. Not living by faith, through grace. Not helpful, and never profitable.

Forced grace is not grace at all. Today, let God’s grace wash over you like a mighty river, let it carry you where God wills. Rest in it. Bask in it. Learn its unforced rhythms…

Jesus Revolution

by Tracy B. Dickerson

I pledge allegiance to the Flagellated One;
The One who in the Garden prayed for Unity.
Who Made the Stars and formed the Sun,
and in great Love Bore the Stripes for Me.
I pledge allegiance to The One
Who on a Gentle Donkey Rode;
I Pledge Allegiance to My Lord,
The One Who says,

“Put down your sword,
and use it now to plow the sod,
then give the harvest back to God.”
No Other Earns My Loyalty,
Save for The One Who Cried...
then Died for me.

copyright, 2010 Tracy B. Dickerson

Christmas in June

(…or All Year ’Round for that Matter…)

In the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, it’s easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of the time of year, but forget what truly is at the heart of Christmas. That’s why it’s good to ‘revisit’ Christmas when you’re about as far away from it as you can get…in late June. Today is June 26. Do you know that today marks the “Christmas midpoint” in the year? That means that there are about as many days since Christmas as there are until we celebrate it again. In other words: “Only 182 shopping days until Christmas!”

Sounds crazy, right? Of course it does. If you’re like most people, the thought of Christmas hasn’t even popped into your head. If you’re like me and you get about a billion mail-order catalogues, you may have already received a Christmas one. I haven’t yet- just some Autumn ones so far- and they’re bad enough! But they’re coming- and soon. I do have one very organized friend who begins shopping the day after Christmas and is done by about August. This is the time of year when she begins addressing her cards. But for most of us, something about beginning our preparations too early strikes a sour note. We don’t want to have to think of that hullabaloo just yet, thank you!

Another interesting thing is that during the Christmas season, we seem to care more for others and we seem to make a more concerted effort to express those feelings. At least it seems that way with all the cards, gifts-giving, donations to those who are ‘less fortunate’; and the extra volunteering of our time, ringing bells and serving soup. Think about it: we would much rather buy a disadvantaged family a turkey with all the fixins at Thanksgiving or Christmas, even though they might be helped more with the simple and understated gift of a bag of groceries or Wal-Mart gift card in May or February. But that’s when no one thinks of the jobless, homeless, husbandless and fatherless.

We also tend to touch one another more: kissing and hugging our co-workers and neighbors is totally okay from mid-November to the beginning of January- but after that…not so much. We smile more, and everyone tends to be full of anticipation and good will. We say to each other things like: “Gee, I wish it could be like this all year ’round!”

But then, as quickly as all that good stuff came…it disappears. For some reason, we act almost as though those kind expressions and feelings of good-will and generosity are seasonal and that their time is over. Like the over-fed mammals that we are, we begin a period of social hibernation as we withdraw again to a spirit that isn’t nearly so generous and warm. It almost seems as if we’ve gotten exhausted from working so hard to generate all that holiday warmth and good cheer. As quick as that, the spirit we so long to hang onto slips away from us.

It feels sad, yet also somewhat good, to return to some sense of simplicity as we recuperate from the festivities and celebrations. We are relieved that the frenetic activity has ceased, yet we long for that “feeling of Christmas”…that sense of community that we have gotten from the giving, sharing, and communing with one another during the holidays.

How did we get started with the idea that we only have to be who we are called to be in Christ for a period of a few weeks between Thanksgiving and New Year’s? Seems kind of crazy to think that no one really thinks it’s crazy to celebrate the holidays as we do. To celebrate Christ’s birthday, we participate in all kinds of overindulgence: we eat too much, spend too much, and we push ourselves to our emotional and financial limits. And then we pay for it. Racked up credit cards, and that feeling of utter let-down in January are some of they ways we experience Christmas’s aftermath. We vow not to get so carried away next year. We promise ourselves that we will be more even-keeled, that we will steward our resources better.

Suppose we actually followed through on that pledge? Suppose we cut back on some of the physical aspects and started right now to spread out the spiritual side of Christmas to every month of the year? The truth is that there are those around us who need our presence every month of the year, not merely our presents during one month. It would be nice to keep that “Christmas Spirit” with us all through the year. But even more heart-warming is the idea that we can have Christ’s Spirit with us…always.

What if we extended our “Christmas posture” to all our neighbors now, rather than only in that brief holiday window? What if we did it in “too dark and cold to leave my fireside February,” or in “too hot to leave my AC August” too? Would those within our spheres of influence get a glimpse of the Christ-child?

Let’s do it right this year by living a FULL YEAR of celebrating Christ’s life of kindness and generosity, so that in December we can make our next celebration of Christ’s birth a worthy conclusion to a the year.

adapted from After We Put Christmas away…by Dean Hughes

Along the Way

Awhile back, I received a “tweet” from Rick Warren (author of Purpose Driven Life and pastor of Saddleback Church) that said:

“Study the STOPS of Jesus, not just his step -the interruptions he allowed. Every healing was an interruption! R U flexible?”

Those one-hundred and forty (or less) characters prompted me to think again about a phrase in scripture that I love: “along the way.” The Gospels are full of occasions in which Jesus and his followers stop “on their way” to their “intended goal” to do important life-affirming things. We see an incredible example of this in Mark 5 where “on the way” to heal a dying girl. Jesus first heals the Geresene demoniac (of “we are Legion for we are many” fame), and then he also heals a woman who had been hemorrhaging for twelve years. In fact, by the time he gets to his “destination,” the ill girl has died. Undaunted, Jesus resurrects her. This story reminds us in a profound way that the ‘bus-stops’ and fellow sojourners that we meet along the way of life are as important as the destination. Through them, we learn the importance of being flexible enough to give these encounters the full attention they deserve. Finally, we see that everything always tends to pan out in the end, even if at first blush it appears that we have arrived “too late” to our destination.

Knowing that, I make a special effort to be attuned to the ministrations of the Holy Spirit, and am ever looking for “divine appointments.” Divine appointments are situations that are inspired and intentionally placed in front of us by the hand of God in order to bless our life for the purpose of us, in turn, finding a way to bless others with what we have gained or gleaned from the interaction. They are never planned, but happen “on the way.”

On Thursday, June 10th, I had the delight of experiencing one of these said “divine appointments.”

It was an ordinary work day at the Compassionate Care Hospice Inpatient Unit where I work as a registered nurse, and I was preparing to administer some medication when a woman approached our front desk and began talking to our unit secretary. The medication area’s proximity to the unit secretary’s desk made it easy for me to “eavesdrop” (and I felt no shame in openly doing so, since my responsibility as charge nurse is to know what is going on at all times on the unit.) The young woman identified herself as one of our hospice volunteers and stated that she had received permission to take pictures of our new unit and staff for her blog.

Setting aside what I was doing for a minute (I was dissolving a medication in water, and the pill needed to sit a bit longer in the solution to liquefy completely, anyway…) I chimed into the discussion and we exchanged blog names (has anyone else noticed this practice is becoming increasingly more a form of social etiquette?). She identified herself as Rachel Simon, an author- and we then proceeded to go around the unit taking some pictures of the unit and staff members for her blog.

I am so glad I took the opportunity (and had the flexibility in my work load that particular day) to take a little bit of time and enjoy this Divine Interruption. Although I had not planned on meeting a new person and having an extraordinarily interesting conversation, it was my great pleasure to share a few very powerful moments conversing with this bright, articulate woman.

Rachel is the author of several books, one of which (Riding the Bus with My Sister- a memoir of a year Rachel spent with her developmentally challenged sister riding public transportation) has been made into a Hallmark™ movie starring Rosie O’Donnell as her sister and Andie MacDowell as Rachel.

Our conversation flowed easily, and I had an immediate sense of kindred-spiritedness. In our brief (15 min max) conversation, Rachel and I talked about how humans “pastor” one another (whether or not we are ordained by a faith community to do so), and about the positive impact and richness that dis-ability and illness can add to our lives when they are embraced rather than eschewed. I had to get back to my duties, so we were only able to enjoy a short-lived, but profoundly rewarding (and I might add, tantalizing) interaction.

It is always healing balm to my soul to encounter another individual who thinks deeply and can articulate those thoughts fluidly. For me, it is like a sip from a good glass of wine, or a few stanzas of a beautiful piece of music- and it usually leaves me wanting for more.

I want to hear more of Rachel’s thoughts and so, I have purchased Rachel’s book and am awaiting its arrival from Amazon.

It will be my “fun” summer reading and I will share my thoughts about it here with you.

Look for more on the book later this summer…

Because of an Illness

Paul knew it. From all Biblical accounts, His first true encounter with Christians was being nursed back to health after being blinded. Through that experience, he learned a powerful lesson. He learned that when one is being cared for physically, there is also the potential to experience the healing of even deeper wounds. Paul experienced that kind of healing at the hands of the early Christians in Damascus and he came to know the deep love and spiritual power conveyed through caregiving.

Ironically, he experienced this kind of love from members of the early church even while he was still considered by them to be a person of questionable intent, an enemy of the Gospel. Make no mistake, the first early Christians that ministered to Paul were wary to say the least, but they were obedient to God… And because of their obedience, both Paul and the early Christian church benefited greatly. Acts 9:31 describes a church that experienced far-reaching peace, grew in strength and in numbers, and learned how to walk in the fear of the Lord and in the comfort of the Holy Spirit. The healing, reconciliation, and growth, that the Early Church experienced through caring for others has left a lasting legacy that we are able to tap into even today- more than 2000 years later. Heeding God’s “call to care” can have deep and lasting results.

Yet, despite experiencing Christian care and nurture and a curative event at the hands of Ananias in Acts 9, Paul continued to struggle with some sort of physical malady. We know this as his famous “thorn in the flesh,” and much has been written and conjectured as to what this actual illness was. But, at the end of the day, knowing what the actual “thorn” was is far less important than knowing what he did with that “thorn.” Paul prayed earnestly for relief from the malady, but as we read in his second letter to the Corinthians, we find an acquiescent Paul who accepted the will of God with regard to his weakness. At a very personal level, Paul recognized God’s sovereign ability to use infirmity as a powerful tool for bringing about His Kingdom. At times, God even used Paul’s illness to make him stop in unintended places in order to bestow and receive unexpected blessings. We see this sentiment clearly articulated in a letter to the church at Galatia:

You remember that it was because of an illness
that I came to you the first time, preaching the Good News.
Though my sickness was a trouble for you, you did not hate me or make me leave.
But you welcomed me as an angel from God, as if I were Jesus Christ himself!
Galatians 4:13-14 (NCV)

Illness IS a POWERFUL conduit for the Gospel. When we are ill, or when we are caring for those who are ill, there is a sacred space that is created between caregiver and the cared-for. You may have had the experience, while caring for someone or being cared for, that you were part of something magnificently indefinable and wondrous. Perhaps you even had the sensation that you were standing on “holy ground.” The Celts called this a “thin place”…There is a Celtic saying that heaven and earth are only three feet apart, but in the “thin places”- that distance is even smaller. A thin place is where the veil that separates heaven and earth because of sin seems to be briefly lifted and one is able to receive a more perfect glimpse of the glory of God. A contemporary poet Sharlande Sledge gives this description:

“Thin places,” …Both seen and unseen,
Where the door between this world
And the next is cracked open for a moment
And the light is not all on the other side…

http://www.explorefaith.org/mystery/mysteryThinPlaces.html


Frequently, thin places are associated with the sensation one feels when marveling at wild landscapes or nature. The psalmist described such a feeling when he wrote: “The heavens declare the glory of God.” I remember a few summers ago, at my youngest son’s request, he and I got up at 4 a.m. and rode our bikes two blocks in the dark to the beach for the sole purpose of watching the sun come up over the ocean. I will never forget the feeling I had as I sat in the dark, and watched my twelve-year old son’s silhouette against the growing nacreous shoreline. As the sun rose over the ocean, my son tossed rocks and shells into the water, and we mutually shared a holy silence. In that holy silence, and in that stillness, we had a sense of knowing God intimately in a way that can only be described as “palpable…” That morning, we were given a taste of what it truly means to “Be still and know that I AM.” When we share that reminiscence, my son and I both agree- together that morning we experienced a “thin place” so precious that even now, its memory stirs our souls.

Most likely you also have had a similar experience of being at a thin place…feeling incredibly close to and in communion with God…yet you didn’t have a name for it. Perhaps it was while listening to a worship song, or while looking up a the nighttime sky and beholding the majesty of His celestial beauty. The heavens do declare God’s awesome glory and have the power to make us feel as if we could touch the face of the One who made us; but I would like to propose that a life of service and caregiving displays the glory of God, and draws us into communion with Him in even more powerful, albeit subtle, ways…That ministering to the physical needs of others, done wholeheartedly, is a holy act that draws our hearts and the hearts of others closer to God. When we do caregiving properly, in the name of Jesus, our actions declare the Gospel- the Good News of God’s redemption through Christ; and, as N.T. Wright so eloquently puts it, we are acting as “… instruments of God’s new creation,” agents of God who are co-creating with God to make possible a “world-put-to-rights, which has already been launched in Jesus.”

…When we care for others in Jesus’ name, there is a door that is ajar ever so slightly, and on the other side we are able to steal a glimpse of The Kingdom itself shining brightly.